Diary Secrets
by Eliza-angel
Summary: A deserted lab, a little open notebook, two pages filled with Abby's handwriting.. what else could Gibbs do but read...
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: this time for the whole story, I'm getting tired to repeat me in every chapter *gg* So nothing is mine ^^  
_

_A huge thank you to ncislove for taking time to beta ^^_

_A/N: I don't know when I'm able to update, since I started studing in the mornings and working in the evenings, so depends on when I'm able to get online, but I try to hurry._

_Hope you guys like it!_

_R&R!_

-

**_Diary secrets _**

-

The lab was empty, but the music was blaring out of the new sound system Abs had just bought and installed.

The senior field agent in him figured she couldn't be far away.

With the favourite drink of his personal favourite human being, he crossed the distance to her workbench and placed the plastic cup next to her keyboard.

-

A little open book caught his attention.

The two open pages were full of Abby's handwriting.

He didn't know she wrote a diary.

His eyes wandered to the beginning of the page.

The first few words attracted his attention and he read the complete sentence.

-

He didn't know why but after the first sentence he wasn't able to stop reading anymore.

Silently he swore about the lack of his glasses, which were, of course in his top drawer some floors upstairs.

He read anyway.

--

_I think I gave up hope but that doesn't mean that it is getting any easier, on the contrary. _

_During the days, I can at least try to avoid thinking about you, I fail miserable but at least I try._

_During the nights, I don't really have the control about my thoughts and feelings and it shows. _

_I can't say that there are many nights without you in my dreams, not that I'm complaining, just another thing that makes it harder._

_I live for the moments you come to see me, I know you come for the results, I just hope you like coming down to me._

_-_

'Of course I do' He thought while he sat down on her chair and continued to read.

_-_

_The pecks on the cheek are the highlight of my day, which is another reason you'll never know, I wouldn't survive the loss of our proximity._

_The times when we are going out with the team or spending time together in your basement are the best days of my month._

_Hollis came and those nights became rare. _

_-_

'Abs'

_-_

_I'm not jealous when you're with someone else, I never was. I don't have the right to be._

_On some level I was happy for you when you were with Hollis, the only thing that bothered me was that our nights lessened, they never did before no matter with whom you were. _

_Let's say that fact didn't really help to like her, I'm really sorry I didn't like her but I couldn't help it._

_I wish I would find the courage to tell you but since I'm fairly certain you don't feel the same, I'm not going to make our friendship awkward._

_I wouldn't survive losing you._

_-_

'You should know better Abs'

_-_

_I feel safe when you're around._

_You asked me once why I always seem to fall asleep when I come over… It's because I feel nowhere else as safe as I feel when I'm with you or in the same house as you._

_To be honest I think these are the only days in the month when I'm able to sleep without problems, but you won't find that out either…_

_I still can remember the look when you found out how bad I sleep when you guys are in danger, which seems to be every other day…_

_-_

_W__hen I'm feeling down, which you seem to always know, you come down to my lab without the musketeers and you offer me your ear; sometimes it is really tempting to just tell you, in fact I would love to tell you, but I don't dare._

_I never imagined me as a woman who falls that hard for a man that it becomes impossible to concentrate on a life without said person. _

_Shocking enough, since I realized I'm in love with you I even haven't been with another man, I simply can't._

_It feels like betraying you, which is more than ridiculous since we are not even dating._

_-_

He moved uneasy from one side to the other side of the chair.

_Hell, I don't even know why I am writing this down, probably to get it off my chest._

_It's not like you are ever going to read it anyway._

-

He placed the book back on the counter and left the lab in a hurry.

With a punch on the button he called for the elevator, luckily the doors opened in an instant.

The moment the doors had closed and the cabin had moved, he applied the emergency switch.

With a heavy sigh he leaned his forehead against the cool metal of the cubicle.

Abs. His Abs was in love with him.

He never thought that she could possible be in love with him.

Let's face it, he was and always would be a bastard.

He couldn't see what she saw in him.

True, he was nicer to her but he still was a bastard.

What should he do now?

He couldn't tell her that he feels the same.

He shouldn't tell her and he wouldn't tell her.

Maybe…

They needed to talk, soon.

--

Abby stepped out of the shadow of her ballistics lab.

He wasn't supposed to read it. She had seen him coming in the lab with a delivery of a drink, that moment she realized she had left the diary open on her desk.

She considered stopping him from reading by entering, but the suicidal part in her let him read the lines, to let him know what she was feeling.

-

Witnessing the emotions on his face was a rollercoaster ride. At some points they were soft and full of surprise, hope and love. But when he left he looked confused and maybe almost pissed, somehow.

Should she show him that she knew he read or not.

Abby just hoped he would not act differently towards her.

-

The rest of the afternoon went by slowly.

In the squad room Gibbs stared at Tony's report for the last hour without reading it, while Abby stared down on the pages of her diary; both thinking about what to do.

Eventually Gibbs got to his feet, told, while passing, the team to go home in an hour and headed for the front elevator.

Basement, he needed to think.

Abby stayed in till her regular work time had ended.

At least in body, her mind was with Gibbs.

_Whatever, he read__ it why not find out where I stand ...hmm… maybe trying to talk at least, as long as it doesn't end in the end of our friendship… _

_-_

_So what you think so far ?_

_push the little button and leave me a review *gg* ok this just sounds like I'm begging for reviews ^^  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much, you blew me away with the reviews for the last chapter, hugs you all ^-^

-

2

Abs opened the front door just far enough to slip through the opening.

Not really quiet, she made her way to the old armchair, where she sat down with crossed legs.

There was no sense in being quiet, Gibbs already knew she was there and she knew that he knew.

With a deep sigh she opened the bourbon bottle she had brought with her.

She needed some bravery.

Abby intended to drink a few sips and wait for Gibbs to appear.

What she didn't intend was to fall asleep during the waiting time, but that was exactly what she did.

-

She woke up outstretched on the couch, a thin blanket trapped over her and her boots missing.

Before she opened her eyes she knew Gibbs was sitting in the armchair, watching her.

"Why are you here, Abs?" His voice was quiet.

Abby turned to her side, curled her legs and left her eyes closed, but answered.

"I know you read my diary." Her voice was not louder than his.

She heard the rustling of fabric when he got to his feet. Moments later she heard creaking of wood when he sat down in front of her on his side-table in front of the sofa.

Abs didn't dare to open her eyes, suddenly thinking that it had been a very shitty idea to come over in the first place.

While considering the chances to get out of this mess without losing his friendship, she was taken off guard when his fingertip came in contact with her cheek.

* * *

When he had heard her enter his house, he was about to go over to her apartment telling her he had read her diary.

He had wanted to tell her that he loved her too but didn't want to act on the feelings.

It would be the right choice, his mind had told him that over and over again.

While his heart and, he had to admit, certain other parts of his anatomy seemed to disagree.

-

He had given her some time when he realized she didn't come down to the basement.

When he had entered his living room about an hour later she had been fast asleep, sitting in his armchair.

In the middle of her crossed legs had stood an open bourbon bottle; her head had rested in a very strange angle on the edge of the back of the comfy chair.

-

His neck had hurt by just looking at it.

Carefully he had lifted the bottle, looked for the cap she had held in her hand and had placed the bottle on the table.

After some time of consideration he had lifted her up and lowered her onto the sofa.

Glad he hadn't woken her up.

From that moment in time he just had watched her sleep, changing his mind while he had allowed himself to memorize every cm of her face.

* * *

Her eyes opened when she felt his thumb on her cheek. Moving down from south of her ear towards her chin. 'My girl'

She realised there was a whole new meaning behind this sign when their eyes locked.

At the same time as Jethro lowered his torso downwards, Abby moved hers upwards.

Blue eyes staring into green ones, as their lips met for the first tasting of the skin in front of them.

Seconds later after their lips touched their eyes fluttered shut.

Her hands moved to his neck, his one to her cheek and the other to her neck.

-

Time froze, there was nothing else just exploring tongues and moaning into each others mouth, until the need of air became more than urgent.

Sometime during the kiss Jethro had changed his seating arrangements from the table to the sofa.

Forehead rested on forehead, nose next to nose.

-

"Abs, my Abs, why didn't you tell me?"

She shook her head and moved away from him a few cm to look into his eyes.

"I couldn't, too much to loose."

His thumb drew circles on her cheek.

-

Abs moved away from the blanket, pushed him backwards till his back touched the sofa.

She straddled him and rested her forearms on his shoulders.

His hands moved to her waist.

She looked into his eyes and bit her lips before she was able to speak again.

"What do you want Gibbs?"

He looked at her with a questioning expression.

"I mean you read what I want, what I feel, I want to know what you want."

She paused shortly suppressing the tears that threatened to come.

"Is there a possibility for an 'us' or are we going to have an awkward friendship from now on?"

-

What you think?


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for taking the time to review, read and favourite this story...

* * *

3

On his face a small smile became visible.

"I am a bastard." He said matter-of-factly. "But obviously it doesn't bother you. You know me, so why should I be such an idiot to not act on my feelings for you, especially since you know exactly what you are getting yourself into, at least when it comes to me as a person."

He stopped and kissed the happy tears that left her eyes away, before his lips captured hers again.

-

Abs moaned into his mouth as his hand wandered under her shirt, moving up her spine.

Her hands weren't idle either. She pulled the hem of his shirt out of his pants and let her fingers move up his bare chest.

They broke apart, panting for air.

Using the time, Abby pulled his shirt over his head.

-

"Are you sure Abs?"

She nodded while her hands explored the new skin in front of her.

With a smirk she acknowledged the Goosebumps that rose at the areas she past with her fingers. With a mischief glint in her eyes she let her fingertips wander south.

-

While she kept her hands busy, his hands found the buttons of her shirt.

He opened one after one, from the top to the bottom.

Gibbs smiled, when with every open button a bit more of her soft skin came in sight.

-

Abs fingertip reached his bellybutton, after a short break she continued to move her nails tenderly further down.

A low groan left his lips as it became harder to concentrate on the buttons in front of him.

Finally he reached the last button.

-

Torn apart between getting rid of her shirt or keep enjoying the feeling her fingertips caused.

He bought himself a few more minutes by seeking her lips again while pulling the hair-ties out of her hair.

-

Helping him out of his misery, Abby let her pelvis move back and fourth while moving her hands away from his skin.

Her shirt was gone in an instant, though not with the help of her new lover. No, he was busy fighting with the control over his body.

Again Abby let her pelvis move back and fourth.

He moaned into her mouth.

Without breaking the kiss he lifted her up.

The bedroom was probably better for this kind of action.

-

In the position he had been in on the sofa, Abs had all the control.

Something he couldn't allow, especially since she seemed to know how to use that as an advantage.

Her legs crossed behind his lower back while her arms did the same around his neck.

The kiss didn't stop the whole way up to his bedroom.

Not before Abby found herself pinned down onto the mattress of Gibbs bed. His firm body on top of her.

-

"Am I dreaming this?" She asked quietly out of breath.

"No." He kissed her neck. "You are not dreaming this." He continued with the exploration of her skin.

"I'm not convinced yet; it feels too good to be true." She murmured softly while she felt his hand move to the zipper and the button of her pants.

Moments later her pants were gone, soon followed by her bra.

-

_Abigail Sciuto lays naked, well almost naked, in the middle of my bed moaning my name over and over again_… he thought while he traced lines on the delicate skin with his lips and tongue.

He had started at her neck and had by now almost arrived at the belly button.

Both of her nipples were hard and as sensitive, he could tell by the way she reacted on his touches.

-

Abby's one hand was clenched into his hair while the other was desperately clenched into the sheet beneath her.

He hadn't touched her were she wanted to be touch the most yet, but she was already fighting with her orgasm.

His tongue circled one last time around her naval before he went further south.

She trembled and her muscles tensed while Jethro nibbled, licked, gently sucked and kissed his way down to the waistband of her thong.

"Let go Abs."

His breath on her already heated skin together with the hand that found its way under the piece of lace gave her the rest.

She screamed her release and hoped no one in the neighbourhood heard her.

-

Jethro couldn't care less if or if not someone heard them.

After his Abby rode out her orgasm against his hand he helped her out of the last piece of fabric and moved upwards again, till his head was at the same level as Abby's head.

Seeking her lips he kissed her softly.

"Are you convinced now?" His voice hoarse, filled with need.

"Yes." Abby whispered out of breath against his lips.

Her hand moved to his fly. She opened the button and the zipper.

With her flat hand on his chest she pushed him onto his back.

-

"You like having the lead." Gibbs stated matter-of-factly while he watched Abby straddle him again, though this time only his jeans parted them from one another.

Her palms rested on his shoulder, while her upper torso was bend a little forward, her eyes locked with his.

"Yes Special Agent Gibbs, I like to be the boss…" she bend down further, her breasts were touching his skin while her hands moved to each side of his head, her lips close by his ear, she continued whispering "but I sure like the idea of being cuffed to your bed with your hand cuffs, too."

She heard a deep intake of breath when the images floated into his mind.

-

With a mischief grin Abby sucked at his ear lobe and let her pelvis move.

Her hands searched his wrists and pinned them down to the mattress next to his head.

He could easily free himself, but Abs hoped he would let her have some fun.

-

His ability to speak was gone, only some monosyllabic sounds left his lips, mainly moaning or groaning, while Abby kissed and licked her way down.

At times she moved back up to grind her pelvis against his.

Her head leveled with his again as she sucked at his earlope and kissing the skin beneath.

-

Her hands still around his wrists she finally whispered.

"I want you."

Seconds later she was on her back pinned down on the mattress not able to move an inch.

"I swear to god Abby I'm going to die soon if you keep this torturing up in our relationship."

She pressed her pelvis up against his.

"Jethro, you seemed to enjoy yourself so far." A smile was evident on her features.

He had lost his pants in a heartbeat.

Now her wrists were held pinned against the mattress.

Abby could feel his member on the inside of her thigh, while his lips captured hers for a passionate kiss.

-

He entered her slowly without moving his hand or lips away from their current place.

Abs moaned into his mouth when she felt him entering her, stretching her slowly inch by inch.

She tried to encourage him to not hold back and enter her completely.

She failed; he continued to enter her deliberately slow until almost his full length was hidden in her core.

It felt so good feeling his length inside of her and boy he definitely didn't have to hide his groin area.

-

Abby thought she was in heaven, Gibbs too had the same thoughts in mind while he traced her skin with his fingertips**.**

He was glad that he wasn't a teenager anymore.

It probably would have been over the moment he had entered. Feeling her muscles adjusting around him was almost too much to bear.

He at least let half a minute pass before he thrust into her slowly, almost pulling out completely before pushing back in with force.

At some point he had let go of her hands which were now at his back and neck whereas his lips were at her neck sucking in the soft flesh.

-

_This … can't….be…. oh…_ "GOD" Abby cried out.

She was already fighting again against the wave of relief that threatened to come.

Jethro grinned against the skin beneath his lips.

Her nails dug into the flesh of his back, causing him to groan.

"Jethro…" It sounded more like a plea than anything else. "Too much..."

"Come for me." He said hoarsely while he changed the angle a bit.

He held her hip up while he pushed into her fast and hard for one last time before her muscles clenched around him.

-

He felt her teeth bite into his neck while her nails dug deeper into his back; this altogether trigged his own relief.

He spread his seed into her willing body while her muscles continued clenching around his member.

His arms couldn't hold him much longer and he collapsed on top of her.

Jethro felt her muscle still spasm around his now softening member. Carefully he pulled himself out, but he didn't get a chance to move any further since her arms held him in position, acknowledging that they were just as shaky as his, but still strong enough to hold him in place.

"Abs I'm too heavy." He said quietly while looking onto her face.

Her eyes were closed while she shook her head.

-

Finally she opened her eyes.

What he saw in them took his breath away.

Her eyes were sparkling.

They always were sparkling just not like this. Emotions she kept hidden were now visible; he saw so much love for him in those amazing, beautiful green eyes, trust, happiness, loyalty, friendship, hope and something else he realised he had missed for quite some time without acknowledging it.

He saw contentedness in her eyes. When he came to think of it, he hadn't seen her content like this since his return from Mexico a few years back.

Apparently she had gathered enough strength to move again. He felt her hand softly touch his cheek.

"I love you Jethro."

The pensive expression was relieved by the biggest smile she ever saw on his features.

"I love you too Abby."

Finally she let herself pulled with him. His arm securely trapped around her back.

With her head on his chest, her arm across his stomach and a leg trapped over his, she fell asleep not even getting that Jethro placed a blanket over them both.

…

fin

-

you know the drill *gg* let me know what you think ^^


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